Race for life?

I am starting to realize that maybe, indeed the world is how you look at it. You can look at the world as full of misery and destruction where you question the relevance of your own existence. Or you can see it as a wonderful opportunity bestowed upon you by the Almighty to give a taste of how it feels like to be born as human with brains and a whole lot of things out there you can do to make your stay on earth worthwhile.

And as we all know, things are easier said than done and I could not bring myself to look at the positivity of our existence. While it may sound very pessimist I would like to think it as being a realist. 

Now no one would like to come across as a boring and pessimist person and I am not saying I am not happy with life or anything of that sort.

As Albert Einstein quoted:  

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.”

 You can live life in oblivion turning a blind eye to everything unpleasant and anything that doesn't concern you or you can be concerned about anything that's happening and turn miserable or frustrated, even try to bring about change(however small) and form opinions to almost everything around you whether it affects you or not.

And I am struggling to find the perfect balance between the two. I am constantly pulled to the endless sufferings of the world and think to myself if my purchase of  the "Big Issue" from one of many homeless people in  London streets is actually helping anyone or not. While I seek towards the permanent solution of the problem, will this temporary help be of some relief? If yes how many "Big Issue"s should I be buying in a month and from which seller? Is it better to buy "Big Issue"s and help the homeless or set up a direct debit to Amnesty International every month? What about helping tigers and anti-fur campaigns? Or do I simply just choose to live my life focused on my own small world trying to make my near and dear ones happy? And although the second option may sound devilishly selfish, don't we all have enough on our plates to deal with already? Also, how can we expect to go about helping the mankind when we haven't helped ourselves first? As Mother Teresa quoted, Charity starts at home. 

While I’m yo-yoing between the two and haven’t found the point of equilibrium yet,  I realize maybe I am over complicating things and as my sister suggested, should live life each day.

Anne hathaway(again) and Love as we know it

It doesn’t help much when you’re nearly dozing off at work and the late night movie that you went to watch the night before was only a tiny bit away from being a disappointment. And you start wondering, did you really have to try and watch the movie on the very first day of screening? 

I have no idea what is so addictive about David Nicholls' "One Day". I am so obsessed about it and I can think of no particular reason as to why I should be so. Maybe the notion of "soulmates" or "meant to be" got into my head too much and maybe it was my subconscious "romantic" self preferring the simple albeit unrealistic story portrayed by the book. Either way I couldn't stop myself to go watch the late show absolutely aware of the consequences the next day.

I can’t stress enough on how Anne Hathaway was a huge mistake for the role. Although I do have to admit that she didn’t do that bad either. All you have to do is trick your brain to think that Emma Morley is not that Yorkshire lass and you’ll enjoy the movie with Anne Hathaway. Other than that I think it’s my duty towards fellow movie watchers to inform them that, like always is the case, the book is better and in this particular case no prior reading of the book may prove to be a mistake since the movie isn’t that great when compared to how witty and emotionally charged the book originally is. 

Ok, all the moaning aside another major issue of the book is the nature of the relationship between the two main characters. Can people still be so fond of each other and have such never ending love even after 20 years? Although the two main characters continue to see others and even marry other people, is it possible to realise your mistakes and try to undo the things already done? 

I came across a new term "Polyamorous Lovers" today (was it just me who was unaware of any such thing?). Apparently there's a trend on rise. Two people who are in love with each other can still date and go out with other people with the consent of their partners. Sometimes this can be triangle or even quadrangle and doesn't necessarily have to be the opposite sex. How does this thing even work? It’s like trying to get the best of everyone. I can have a main relationship with one guy and then date another one only because he is very funny and my main guy doesn't have any problem. Is this new trend an attempt to put promiscuity in a positive light? Or is this a mutual solution to the ever pressing concerns of cheating partners?

Either way I can’t help question myself: 

Are we getting too modern and sophisticated and finding our own ways of feeding more of our selfishness and trying to have it all, all the time?

Where do all the missing socks go???

One of the greatest mysteries of life: "Where do all the missing socks go?" While I was running late for my work this morning , yes you guessed it, because of the missing socks, I was wondering where the hell do all the missing socks go? You can't seem to find a proper matched pair and all of them gone missing most of the times. Now I am sure, this is not just the case of very bad organisational skills. So is there really a "Sock Fairy" that secretly takes our socks away?

And predictable enough, I thought why not google it while at work and I came across this funny link. It explains the Sock Theory (Yes, there seems to be one!!!)  and other related theories that probably aims to explain where all the missing socks go and other interesting things. 

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/The_Place_Where_All_The_Missing_Socks_Go

Well, this theory doesn't necessarily help me get to work on time or even help me have a properly matched pair of socks at least once a week, but hey at least now I know, people have been speculating on the possibilty of there being a black hole or something where all the socks go. Imagine when the world ends(2012??) and what if after a big bang there were socks raining everywhere.. Aha!! there you go..You'll find your missing socks..And do thank me then.
You're welcome ;)

Why Anne Hathaway?

This week I am not looking forward to Wednesday at all. Yeah that’s right. Usually, Wednesdays are my favourite day of the week since Wednesday means we’re halfway through the week and Friday nights seem just round the corner.  But this Wednesday, it’s the first screening of “One Day”. My love of last summer made into a movie. I was absolutely thrilled, after the overwhelming success of this David Nicholl’s book, to have found out that there will be a movie adaptation of the book only to be disappointed later. 

Movie adaptation of a favourite book can be a thrilling experience for any book lover especially if the book was one of the much favoured. But it can be equally despairing if the adaptation turns out to be nothing more than a lousy attempt. And the movie “One Day” is what exactly it seems set to be. 

To start with, why did Lone Scherfig cast Anne Hathaway for the role of Emma? It’s one of the mysteries doing rounds these days, among book lovers like us who think Anne Hathaway doesn’t justify the role of Emma. And the Yorkshire accent ? After seeing the trailer, I’m thinking, which accent is the director talking about? Those of you who’ve read the book will understand why Anne Hathaway is so inappropriate for the role. Our beloved, dear, warm and average-looking Emma, not some doe-eyed American ,with a wide smile; who have had perhaps a little less training on accent?

Now I am not complaining that Americans shouldn’t have been given the role at all. Renee Zellweger performed brilliantly in Bridget Jones’ Diary (and Yes, I mean the accent too).

And Jim Sturgess as Dexter? Lets not even get there. Dexter , from the book, is painfully handsome with striking features. Couldn’t they have done with Jake Gyllenhaal or maybe some fresh face?

It’s like having a bad taste left in the mouth after a sumptuous meal. But oh well, like my cousin suggested, it might be a little too late to write to the director about the disapproval of the readers regarding the cast. So I might as well just shut up and go watch the movie. Although I don’t know how much I will be moaning throughout the 108 mins. Will post my review after I watch the movie.

Meanwhile check out some more articles suggesting maybe Anne Hathaway wasn't a great choice.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2010/sep/29/one-day-anne-hathaway-emma?intcmp=239 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2010/sep/28/anne-hathaway-scherfig-one-day

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/aug/21/pass-notes-anne-hathaway-one-day

Of love and Loss ( One Art by Elizabeth Bishop- one of my favorite poems)

One Art

The art of losing isn't hard to master;

so many things seem filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster,

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three beloved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

-- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident

the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (Write it!) a disaster.

Fake or Awake??

Skepticism has become a way of life for me- unfortunately inseparable too. I can't help notice how fake people can be. Are they becoming what they think they should be and embodying their ideals or are they becoming what they think will be perceived by others as ideal? Sometimes I think maybe that's the real them and me failing to see it because of my blocked mind. But at other times I can't help notice the fakeness. And I wonder, am I the only one actually spotting how people are trying hard to be something that they are not or are the others/the admirers pretending to admire as well? Pretty complicated world huh!!!

World is indeed a stage and each of us playing our part, sometimes playing the part that we think is desirable (carved out of our own narrow preconceived ideas) by others or what we consider to be desirable by ourselves instead of what we actually should be playing. Confused? So am I.

Why can't we just let loose and be ourselves? Or why can't we just be accepted for who we are?

Till death do us apart?

Yesterday, on my way to Kew Gardens in an ever-slow District line, one of my friends exclaimed, "Oh! did you know Amy Winehouse is dead? "

"What?"

"When?" I couldn't hide my surprise at the news. Something remotely thought of and imagined and a totally unexpected news to hear on a rare sunny day in London.  But thinking of it, who expects of a death?

Don't we all choose to live with a naivety that we will die one day, but sure enough in our mind that day can't be tomorrow or even today for that matter. Life can be unfair although we choose to believe the opposite. We are optimistic creatures I think, to think that we have our share of time, here on earth but failing to either realise or ignore that this time can be extremely short.

This sudden demise of a true talent and few other acquaintances of mine within a short period of time, has seriously made me question myself on this inevitable truth of life. I have constantly come across the line "Life is short". But I never gave it a thought without realising how short can be so short sometimes.

And now, with an uncertainity looming over our own existence, what should be our approach towards life? Do we live like there is going to be no tomorrow or do we live with a positivity that our actions today will shape our future tomorrow which we are sure we will get to see?

And in all this confusion over how one should live their life, should we make "death", THE DEFINING TRUTH in our life?

Friday the 15th?

Ok, so here’s the thing. I am a firm believer in astrology (sign compatibility, sign characteristics and all that crazy stuffs. Call me the mad woman or even aspiring psychic for that matter) and am so insanely obsessed with it that I have managed to rub off some of my obsession to my near and dear ones. While it’s true that it’s a part of science and is as much arbitrary as much as it is scientific, no one can give a plausible explanation as to why that some stranger looking at the crystal ball or some Pandit Bajes who go through your birth charts, can accurately narrate your past while claiming to predict or forsee your future. Now, if the future predictions turn out to be true or not, is an entirely different thing. I believe it’s more of a psychological thing, with those fortune-tellers gauging the psychological effect of their predictions as well. But I am a firm believer in the sense that, the planetary movements/position at the time of birth, have in some extent, an effect on the characteristics and behavior of a person.

Being as much non-judgemental as I am, I can’t help notice how people of same astrological sign share so much in common. Their characteristics and sometimes even their way of thinking and general attitude towards life is eerily similar. Other than that, I like to believe that I am quite open-minded and  don't dwell too much on psychic future predictions et al. So when my lovely cousins always worried about Fridays (supposedly the unlucky day for both of them) and avoided scheduling important events on Fridays and were extra careful even when going to work, I used to laugh it off or give a satirical look of Oh-right-it's-Friday-the-thirteenth, until one day I decided to experiment myself and be extra cautious to the happenings of the 7 days of the week to determine if I did as well have an unlucky day of the week. 

My mom (she literally lives and breathes astrology ) always reminds me, as per one of the monks, that Friday is meant to be my unlucky day too. So I thought why not see what happens on Friday to determine if it is really that bad.  So I thought of all the significant things(both good and bad) that had happened in the recent months and see if I could remember the days too (pretty tough and crazy I know). Unable to find much, I decided to keep things simple and just focus on finding the unlucky day of the week for me. I starting taking mental notes of what happened on Fridays. And to my amazement,  Fridays seemed to be bad days for me. All of a sudden, I started not getting seats in the same train that I travel everyday to and fro to my work at the same time. Spending 3 hours of daily commute without getting a seat was a great misery to me and I couldn't decide if it's because of the day of the week or just by pure chance. Either way I am becoming a bit of a mind-reader trying to read the mind and observe the gestures of the seated strangers so that I can predict who is getting off at the next station so that I can jump to their seat. Pathetic I know, but I don't want to go to work with a bad mood and tired even before my dose of bad day at work.  I can't not be getting seats just because it was Friday. But sadly, the truth was same thing happened other Fridays. At days when I did get seat for the last few stops, it was certain I would have a bad day at work, which without fail I would. Work would feel a drag with too much pressure, stress, nagging colleagues at their worst etc. If I make any arrangements or call somewhere, it was surely bound to be a failure.

Now, coming to think of it, I blame myself for all this. It's not the days of the week, it's me and my mentality, the power of thought so strong that the waves of those thoughts are ringing true. And as I am writing this, I feel I am giving  this arbitraty theory even more validation and certainity to it. HAH!!! I am making things happen with my thoughts albeit the negative ones, still my thoughts nonetheless.  Now, if only I knew how to channel these into making something positive happen, I would be standing beside The Dalai Lama.

Until I figure that out, I will just have to do with  being  way ahead of the crowd and actively looking out for the next person likely to leave his/her seat so that my commute to work on Fridays would be less troublesome.

A poem that I love and stole from my friend's blog.. LOl...

Point B- Sarah Kay

Instead of mom she’s gonna call me point B
Because that way she knows that no matter what happens,
at least she can always find her way to me.
And I’m gonna paint the solar system on the back of her hand
so that she has to know the entire universe before she can say
oh, I know that like the back of my hand.
She’s gonna learn that this life will hit you
Hard.
In the face.
Wait for you to get back up so it can kick you in the stomach.
But the wind knocked out of you is the only way
to remind your lungs how much they like the taste of air.
There is hurt here that cannot be fixed by bandaids or poetry
So the first time she realizes that wonderwoman isn’t coming,
I’ll make sure she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself
Cause no matter how wide you stretch your fingers,
your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal.
Believe me , I’ve tried.
And baby, I’ll tell her.
Don’t keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick.
You’re just smelling for smoke,
so you can follow that trail back to a burning house,
so you can find the boy who lost everything in the fire
to see if you can save him
Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place
to see if you can change him
But I know that she will anyways so instead
I’ll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rainboots nearby
because there’s no heartbreak chocolate can’t fix.
Okay there’s a few heartbreaks chocolate can’t fix.
But that’s what the rainboots are for,
because rain will wash away everything if you let it. ‘
I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottomed boat.
To look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist
on the pinpoint of a human mind because that’s the way my mom taught me,
that there’ll be days like this
there’ll be days like this my momma said
When you open your hands to catch
and only wind up with blisters and bruises.
When you step out of the phonebooth and try to fly
and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape.
When your boots will fill with rain
and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment
and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you.
Cause there’s nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to
stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.
You will put the wind in win some lose some
you will put the star in starting over and over
 no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute
be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.
And yes, on a scale of one to trusting I am pretty f****ing nave.
 But I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar.
And sure, it can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to
stick your tongue out and taste it.
And baby, I’ll tell her.
 Remember your mama is a worrier,
but your papa is a warrior and
 you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more.
Remember that good things come in threes,
and so do bad things,
 and always apologize when you’ve done something wrong,
 but don’t ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining
and your voice is small,
but don’t ever stop singing,
and when they finally hand you heartbreak,
 slip hatred and war under your doorstep
and hand you hand outs on streetcorners of cynicism and defeat
you tell them they really ought to meet your mother.

And some things do remain the same

Ben Franklin once remarked , "In this world, nothing is certain but death and tax".
In a world of constant change, where everything and everyone changes  I am amazed that few things still do remain the same.

I have been in London for almost 4 years now and as I was munching my Lemon Houmous Sandwich with Thai Sweet Potato soup from E.A.T, I do realise not all things necessarily change all the time, over the time.
Struck with this realisation while having my bite of this heavenly sandwich, I was pondering upon what else remained the same in my life for the past 4 years. (Now thinking about anything beyond that would be such a waste of time especially when I am meant to enjoy this sandwich and soup in a short period of time and afterwards dive straight into my work).


Although Lemon Houmous Sandwich has been a latest addition to a list of my favorites, E.A.T has always been a favorite place for a quick bite. For those of you unaware and unfamiliar with E.A.T, let me tell you, it's one of those few places in London where you get (at a reasonable price) fresh, healthy food mainly sandwiches and soup and the likes and gives Pret' A Manger and similar places, a run for their money. Everytime they introduce some new sandwiches or salad, I am amazed with how they get the ingredients and the combination right. Its so healthy(comparatively) and tasty too. My personal favorite has always been Gyozo Dumpling soup. Anyways the point is, this is the place I have been going for the past nearly 3 years and so and I can't count the number of Gyozo Dumpling soups I have bought from this place. And there is no intention of stopping the routine whatsoever.

Palmer's Cocoa Body Butter is another obsession that has successfully been with me longer than any of my relationships. So you see I have a very special bond with this body butter. Its so perfect for my skin that needs TLC every now and then. The smell is divinely(though I do have friends who do not like the smell of it). I personally love the Butter Scotchy smell  and for me, having tried other numerous body creams, no expensive or less-expensive body butters can replace this humble, hard working, delicious smelling body butter and this is why it remains at the top of my favorites' list to this date. And my love and reliance on it hasn't changed a bit over the years.

Finally, a TFL (Transport for London) employee at the Hanger Lane tube station is another existence that hasn't changed over the period of nearly 4 years now. He was the first person in London, to top up an Oyster for me when I was new to the city. He is a medium aged man. No actually, someone nearing the old age with a few strokes of white in his beard. He was kind but the encounter was brief and nothing friendly (unfriendly me who wouldn't talk to strangers then). But then everyday after that, on my way to work/college I would see this person, but we would be busy with our own ways and not show any signs of recognition or anything. Its London after all. Who has time? or so I thought. After nearly 2 years I moved places. A little farther but time and again when I do actually use the station sometimes I see this man and its the same expression of recognition but no friendly chat or simple "Hi"  and then I realise how some things don't change much over time. 

I agree, four years isn't a long time to expect a change but don't we all like to bask at the comfort and certainty  that a routine provides? Don't we just hang on to the things not necessarily because its the best but because we don't like the idea of having to adapt to a newness? No, thanks I am happy with the way things are Or No, thanks I am not happy with the way things are but would like to stick to it nevertheless. Who knows, there might be better body butters or sandwiches or dumpling soups out there that are waiting to be discovered and explored and who knows, the guy at the station is actually the twin brother of previous one (highly dramatic and unlikely prospect but still possible) or a totally different person and me being the one, bad at remembering faces and names, mistook both of them for the same person or his twin for that matter.

Either way, these things have stayed the same for me throughout the years or so I would like to think. But maybe I am too wrapped up in the comfort of the routine and should try something different. I am not sure about the Body Butter and the dumpling soup, but next time when I pass the station and regardless of whether its the other twin or a totally different person, I am going to smile at him. 

Maybe its time for me to change, and besides it doesn't cost me a penny to flash these calcified yellowish uneven structures in my jaw, that I call teeth.

Inbox Woes

I am one of the 10% of the women (according to a Yahoo survey) who has 2000+ messages in their inbox and among one third of them who would rather clean their toilet than their inbox. No, I am not proud of this fact and only God knows why I have so much rubbish not just in my brain but in my Inbox too. (Wondering if a woman's personality, to certain extent, can be estimated/judged by the state of her Inbox? or Are all the women same, that is hopelessly unorganised with their Inbox or even love life for that matter, for some of us.)

This morning, as other mornings and other times of the days (midnights too and once in the middle of an interview), with best interest in my heart, I decided to springclean my Inbox. I thought, at least I can try and declutter something that is totally do-able and within my ability and doesn't require me to go through 26 poses of Bikram yoga at least(note: I don't practice Bikram Yoga). Now if I could possibly succeed in my mission is a totally different story but while in the process, I did come across old emails from my friends with whom I have lost contact these days. Before you shift the entire blame on me, I think I should defend myself here using the same old line, communication is a two way process. Pretty much like tango and of course it does take two, right?

I do understand there are circumstances and people do get caught up with the matters at hand. Physical absence and proximity are other major contributing factors. However moaning aside, I am much more amused at how the act of writing an email has in itself become so sacred and rare. (Sacred, mainly because its accessible and its presence acknowledged but somehow we don't seem to use it that often, maybe out of sheer respect for the act itself and the belief that it should be used sparsely).

With Twitter and Facebook and other social sites, writing to your friends has become just so easier. You can just write on their walls, you can go through their profiles and send a message in a spilt second. This very accessibility has made the act of writing to your friend, not a very big deal. You can write whenever,wherever to whoever (unlike the times when we used to write emails and had specific person in mind and write their email address and send an email to them) and we are finding it so much easier to do this that we are actually not doing it so often (maybe the complexities of the modern world has made us ignore the easier things in life and just run after challenges). The reverse effect, as I would like to call it.

These days if you ever see an email from your friends, its most likely a spam. And I am not even bothered to open when I see an email from a familiar email address. I know its a spam and hit the delete button most of the times. Few times, out of curiosity, thinking if my friends actually did decide to message me via their email addresses, when I open the message, I am proved wrong, almost instantly. So there goes my faith in emails sent by my friends or rather their email addresses.

Now, this might not be the case for everyone out there, but then again I am someone who has logged in their MSN mesesenger for as much as 3-4 times(in total) in 2 years' time. Now am I seriously being so disconnected to the internet because of the loss in the very faith of virtual networking or because there are so many options to choose from that I am overwhelmed to the point where I am happy rather not choosing any.

The dilemmas aside, it was great going through the old emails and things I've written to my friends about that particular point of time in my life. I would happily spring back to the days of emailing my friends again, hoping the emails won't be considered a spam and deleted straight away. Even worst, hope it doesn't get marked as junk.

Happy Springcleaning everyone!!! :)

P.S. Just for the record, I did manage to get my inbox messages to 1792 and I hope to maintain the number if not decrease it. ;)

Questions and more questions.

Life is pretty random or rather say my choices are? Do I need to put more thoughts into my actions or more actions to my thoughts? Its a long journey of self learning, self evaluation and self help probably.

As you grow up, you will eventually learn that nothing goes as planned. There are obstructions, U-turns and unexpected falls and rise in life. The days when you think that the sky is just inches away from your stretched arms will probably cease to be and you suddenly realise the aches in the arms, that you couldn't lift them anymore and you'd actually start questioning if you really need to lift them at all. Then you see what's around because all this time you were busy stretching your arms and looking at the sky. You missed what was around all this time, what could have been yours and what could have been enjoyed together, cherished. Should we all be living life this way?

Of what not said

And when all is said and done, what is not left

You pack your bags, close the chapter and take up a pace;

Brisk walk, run, sashay or pretend to fly

It all comes down, one day;

Like everything else

All comes down to what’s left

Of what not said.

Words guilty, of not being spoken

Disguised truths, change of direction

Heart, head, mind and lungs

Blood, skin, fat and cells

Mere cover ups, pile on pile

Burns down to bits with regret

Of what not said.

Monologues with empty purposes

A body without a soul

Forgone chances, never returned

Outweighing words, sore throats

Burnt tongue, sealed lips

What can they probably speak?

Oh! Of what not said